The Collar

Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission, Sadism & Masochism: The Collar

Chloe Thorn, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Sep 24, 2007


Just like many aspects of “Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism,” the collar is very controversial in its meaning and need. In many but not all dominant and submissive relationships, there is a collar or necklace that symbolizes a submissive belonging to her master or dominant. The meaning and background of the collar has been interpreted in many different ways but the following are some of the important points.
The Collar is given to a submissive usually in a ceremony like a marriage ceremony but kinkier. The Collar being like the ring symbolizing the fact that the submissive is taken and no longer available. It also states the obvious which is that the individual wearing it is the submissive not the Dominant of the relationship. Usually behavior will tell you this however occasionally you will see a submissive trying to dominate his or her Master.

The Collar is also used for role-playing games which are prominent in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle (D/s). It can help the submissive feel her role and Mastered which is what she or he desires.

There is also the connotation of the Collar being given due to the idea of a submissive being a “pet”. Now keep in mind that some submissive do believe this way and choose to, and are exceptionally happy. However there are also submissives that are not inclined to this way of thinking and their Master is not either.

Now being collared does not always mean literally wearing a leather collar with buckle. The actual collar can be many different things, from a small metal ring that encircles the neck, to a diamond necklace. Chokers seem to be a very classic style of a collar for many submissives because of the tightness and incessant reminder of their Master.

In the past and some more traditional BDSM relationship there were 3 collars which you can liken to relationship stages. The first is a “Collar of Consideration” this collar is like the first dating stage for the D/s relationship. The reason for it is so that both the submissive and the Dominant are showing they are taken and that they are actually trying each other out. The next stage is the boyfriend/girlfriend stage which is the “Training Collar”. This collar is for the more serious dedicated Master/Submissive couples. This also shows that the submissive is training with her Master so that both become able to fit each others needs. Lastly there is the “Slave Collar” which is as important in BDSM as a wedding ring is to many other women. This Collar is given in a ceremony and with much thought and purpose being put into it. Usually with this set of collars they start out simple and become more ornate with each step.

Not all submissive wear their Collars full time, unless it is main stream enough to be allowed within working confines without distraction. However there are quite a few submissives that choose to wear their collar at all times. The pride behind wearing it is so very much like showing off your engagement ring.

Although many people outside of the BDSM world believe the collar to be a sign of degradation, it is actually something worn with pride and love from any submissive within this lifestyle.

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