Daddy-Little Girl Dynamics: It’s Not Easy Being A Little
By tequilarose on August 9, 2013
I don’t know about you, but when I was child, I didn’t always think it was all that easy. I remember grownups all around me telling me how “easy I had it” and to “just wait until I became an adult” because that’s when life would start getting hard. I would always look at them funny because for me, I thought life was already hard. Didn’t these adults know that I had a bedtime that I hated and having to eat foods that I thought were disgusting and should be banned from our family’s dinner table and dealing with a younger sibling who I would’ve rather traded in for a puppy, how could they think any of that was easy? Even now, as a grown up little, there are still struggles, but not exactly the same ones I had as a child.
It’s hard to be a little in today’s society. So many people, even those within the lifestyle, don’t understand the Daddy/little dynamic. They don’t try either. Those of us who are little tend to get told that we need to “grow up and act like adults” or that we’re suffering from Peter Pan syndrome because we don’t want to grow up or even some mental disorder. The problem with something like this happening, the judgement and also the stigma of being told you’re suffering from a mental disorder really affects how we see ourselves. It makes us question our self-worth and our own identity. Even though there are numerous groups on fetlife dedicated to littles, adult babies, and age players, there’s still a lot of misunderstandings out there. I don’t know how many times on Facebook, where I’ve seen my friends who are also littles comment about how their family or outside world is judging them for expressing who they are and how it crushes their spirits.
It’s not easy to explain to people about the little dynamic. Sometimes, it’s even hard to explain it to ourselves. It’s one of those things that just feels natural, so you do it. It took some time to understand this about myself. I’ve always had a love of things from my childhood, always slept with a stuffed animal(or animals), had a special blankie, and so on and so on. I could see that out of all my friends I was the only one who did these things. Part of me felt wrong for being in my early twenties and wanting to drag a stuffed animal around with me. But on the other hand, part of me didn’t care. It made me feel safe and secure, something no other human being could give me. My stuffed animal never left when it was so easy for people to walk in then turn around and walk right back out of my life. My stuffed animal didn’t pass judgement on me, didn’t criticize my appearance or tell me I would be more attractive if I lost weight. If you talk to most littles, you’ll hear a lot of similar stories, they knew they were different from everyone else, how they never lost their flair for cartoons and coloring, and most of all, needed to find someone who would understand them and love them unconditionally.
With being a little, I’m misunderstood a lot. I’ve been asked how can I be a little and still consider myself a slave and when am I going to grow up, and a lot of other things that have been rather hurtful. The thing is, pretty much every little you stumble across, whether they be male or female, are submissive and serve their Mommies or Daddies. One of the great things about the BDSM lifestyle, there’s no right or wrong way to live it. It’s whatever you and your partner are comfortable with. For me, being a little completes my slavehood. Embracing my little side has helped me become a better slave and open up more with Daddy in ways I never thought I possibly could. When my little head space is all sorts of messed up, so is my submissiveness. And as for the whole needing to grow up thing, I know when I need to be a grown up. I may not like it in the least bit, especially when some of the situations I find really scarey (i.e having to deal with government offices by myself!), but I have responsibilities and I have to fulfill those responsibilities or face the not so nice consequences. It’s like that for all who are littles, and like me, they happily fulfill their responsibilities to make their Mommy or Daddy happy.
Another thing that I feel happens a lot, is littles tend to get taken advantage of. I know that a lot of slaves/subs/bottoms get taken advantage of by those so called masters and doms because we’re so eager to serve. Been there, done that more times than I care to count. But the difference with a little is, we tend to be much more vulnerable than everyone else. We tend to trust more than we should. With trusting more than we should, we tend to open up a lot to people we don’t really know, because we automatically assume we can trust them. Because we assume we can trust certain people, we tend to offer our hearts, our souls, our very being to these people, but we don’t get the same in return. Or, we get used and then are left behind when we’re no longer found entertaining anymore. For me, I always saw my Daddy to be someone who loves me, cherishes me, supports me, and punishes me when I need that, much like an actual father would be there for their own daughter. When I was first introduced to this world, the first man I ever called “Daddy”, didn’t exactly do his job. I was just a fun playmate who he could spoil and enjoy kinky sex with. It hurt when I realized that he didn’t want the deep and meaningful relationship I was hoping to have with him. Even though it hurt, I was taught a valuable lesson.
There really aren’t many differences between a submissive and a little, just a few minor nuances here and there between the dynamics, yet those little nuances can make a big difference and change people’s understandings of a relationship. Just as it isn’t easy being a slave or submissive in the vanilla world, it’s not easy being a little as well.